Well the day has arrived. Its my 20th birthday. My teenage years are behind me forever and i have the next ten years to look forward to. Its exciting in one respect that it marks how much i've changed since my 19th birthday. I can't even remember what i did on my 19th bday. Probably got shit faced stoned and don't remember. And that was probably what i'd done the day before and the day before that and most likely the day after.  I look back at myself the past two years and hate what I see. I was a lazy kid who had a selfish agenda, I wasted a shit ton of my parents money and everyone's time because skipping class was more fun then actually going. I couldn't handle college because i refused to challenge myself. Makes me sick.

I'm trying to make something of my self now. I've enrolled in massage therapy school, and I'm really good at it. I study when I'm not in school and i make an effort to be there early, to ask questions in class and to be my best at it. It feels like the right thing to do right now, so for now that's the plan. And thats about it. Isn't that great for me? But how can that be it? OH don't get me wrong I love massage therapy but I need people again. You know i haven't gotten a phone call or a text message from any of my friends in a month? not one. I felt like i was always the one to make contact, and after a month of no effort from my part I was right. Maybe i'm just winning, maybe I actually prefer it this way, maybe I'm just afraid to pick up the phone, maybe I'm busy. Which ever you prefer i still miss my friends. SO I'll give them until the end of the night to text me, If they haven't by then well I'm texting them. I'm done with this pity party.

My life is shifting direction and i like the way its going. Its like it getting better all the time.  All  have to do now if hope we all don't die in December and everything will work out great.